I feel remarkably blessed today. For the last two weeks, I have had an incredible opportunity, afforded to me by the gracious support of many. My heart is full today.
That feels like an understatement. There has been something of a transformation in me over the last couple weeks. When I got here, I wasn’t sure how it was going to go or what was going to happen. I didn’t know, really, what my ability level was when put next to people really do this day in and day out for a living. I didn’t know if I wrote good songs. I knew that people at The River really liked them, but somehow that seemed a little like when you bring home a drawing in first grade and your mom hangs it on the fridge. The truth is, you don’t really know whether that means your actually good, or that she just loves you a lot. You hope for both.
That’s what I was hoping for. I was confident in the knowledge that I am loved and valued and appreciated (whether I did music or not). I was less confident in my musical abilities. For some people, that’s hard to understand. Think of it like a remarkably talented high school basketball player. He may even go on to play college ball. Maybe even at a high level. Then one day he gets the chance to play with a bunch of NBA fellas. In that moment, I contend that the smart man walks in with the confidence necessary to try it, and the humility to understand the weight of the situation. These things together produce a healthy fear; a reverence of the moment.
This was that moment for me. Nashville is the NBA of singer/songwriters and it was appropriately nerve-wracking for me to jump into that scene. God’s grace was palpable throughout this trip. From the chemistry with the other people working on the record (we all genuinely enjoyed each other’s company a great deal) to the connections made to the arranging of the chord structure and instrumentation of the songs. I felt God’s smile and I believe he was pleased.
This doesn’t mean that I have any idea what to expect from this record (I don’t) or that I think I am in same league with a lot of these folks musically (I’m not). I think it mostly means that it doesn’t matter anymore…and that I feel comfortable saying that. I walked through the door and gave it absolutely everything I had. And it was an act of worship for me. Truly…this has been an outpouring to God like I have rarely experienced in my life.
My prayer from the jump has been that God would be glorified in this project and that this would bless His heart. With all my soul, I believe that has happened. So, in August, I will come back down and we will spend another week in the studio mixing and tweaking and making everything the best it can be. Then, I will work hard to promote the record as best as I can and try to put the music in front of as many people as possible and hope to make some sort of positive impact along the way. But it will be done out of joy and freedom and not out of striving or fear.
For the glory of His name and His kingdom…
Thank you all…more to come.
Fraaza, so happy for you, and for those of us who have been bought closer to God as you both modeled worship and led us in it. Proud of you devotion. He is pleased, and I like your drawings just like your mom…